For Hire as Hire

A frantic mother offered me a babysitting job today after I calmed her toddler down while filling her canvas bags with jars and jars of processed baby food and other prepackaged delicacies. The 3-year old was grabbing for rubber bands and trying to eat them, then screaming at the top of his lungs when I caught it just in time before it stopped him from making noise for the rest of his dear life. He didn't like that. He continued at a pitch that was death to the ears. To put the wretched pain to a halt without taping his drooling mouth shut and getting sent to jail, I teased him and made stupid faces. He stopped and stared and tried to choke me to death with his dirty little hands in shrieking laughter. Of course, I played along with his nonsensical game. When bags were packed and they were ready to go, he reached out his grubby little hands and tried to give me a hug and kiss with his cheddar cheese breath and wet lips. As unappealing it may sound, I let him. As much I want to say this kid needs a good spanking, my weakness for kids is pathetic.

I took her business card and slipped it in my apron.