How it all started...

This new beginning all started with the knots and stress and lack of sleep I felt at my other "real" job. What happened to all my energy, driving passion and love for life? Before I lost complete perspective and my inner self, I ended my passionless relationship, submitted my leave notice at work, sold my place and my things, packed up my car, and drove across country with my dog in search of more. Well, it didn't happen that fast, especially the search of self part, but I've just now started to feel more at ease with this new life - especially as I closely observe at the front end.

The drive across country was difficult in the beginning. I cried the first few hours. Then I drove in a fuzzy, swollen daze during the week following. Regret and the strong urge to turn around tempted my steering wheel and invaded all my senses. The idea of home and longing hit me, along with hard reality - I left home! I left home and I have nothing planned for the next! It wasn't until I reached Moab, Utah did I seem to rediscover the outside world again and begin to enjoy my adventure. At first, I had no choice. It was too hot to continue to move and move and move like how I had been seeing things and places. The campsite did not have electricity, cell reception, WIFI, or any other or those can't-live-without services we depend on these days, but to my surprise, I got used to boiling my own water, sleeping under the stars and peeing whenever and whereever I pleased. Instead of sitting in my loneliness and self-pity, I sat with my thoughts and reintroduced myself to me.

"Hello. Nice to meet you again." I said one hot day to my rear view mirror. After the awkward introduction, I actually started to enjoy my own company. I felt like I was getting back together with an old friend I once upon a time shared a great and passionate love affair with.

I ended up on this other side of the country after blindly entering one late night. I was tired, hungry and my back ached from all the driving. The place was just another big city, but I knew it would be easy to re-establish a new life without too many unfamiliar changes. The weather is humid here and there are far too many roundabouts and potholes, but nothing one can't manage over time. And that's the thing about overpopulated cities, there are all kinds of people existing selfishly in such tight quarters. It's fascinatingly frustrating and yet frustratingly fascinating.

In the last few weeks since arriving, I've found a new temporary home in a shared apartment with kind roommates and sweet dogs. I've taken a new mindless job bagging groceries at a local supermarket. I'm not sure how long I will stay here, or where this may lead, but I'm happy and relaxed for now. Perhaps I will slowly climb my way up the supermarket ladder as Head Supervisor of Customer Service, or perhaps I will return home to my old job and life. But whatever I choose to do, or whichever direction life takes me, I vow to live it with full awareness and appreciation that this is exactly where I should be: Bagging groceries with a smile.

Now that I am here, my old life seems miles and years away. Yes, change can certainly happen overnight if motivation and courage and action takes place.