Everything I Learned in People, I Learned while Bagging Groceries

I've also concluded that about:

10% of most people are extremely kind, generous and appreciative
20% of most people act appropriately polite and say their generic "please" and "thank you" in the way taught and expected
40% of most people don't say much nor smile as if customer service people have been replaced by automatic tellers
10% of most people frown and grumble but it's nothing personally directed to you, just grumpy
5% of most people are on the phone with someone else - either laughing or yelling
5% of most people are yelling or laughing with/at their children/friends
10% of most people are incredibly rude, generally dissatisfied with everything in life and try to find fault and blame by personalizing toward you

My favorite part of my job is when they look at me like I'm a second class citizen.

Will Work for Food

"Please bring your I.D. and social security card just in case we hire you on the spot." Barbara, the head supervisor of customer service, said all this over the phone. She turned out to be a wide woman with a full head of dark, curly hair.

I arrived five minutes early with my driver's license, passport and social security card. They didn't take any of my personal documents, but did indeed hire me on the spot.

"You will begin as a bagger," the Big Head said. "I pay my baggers and cashier the same because I believe they are equally as valuable."

"Yes, ma'am," I nodded.

"Being a bagger can be a tough job," the Head continued. "You are on your feet all day, lifting and hoisting and pleasing the customer with smiles and catering to their many needs. And what is our motto?" she asked like a cheerleader to a crowd of hundreds.

"We have a mission in providing the best customer service in retail," I repeated in false enthusiasm.

"You got it!" The Head bobbed in satisfaction.

Bagging groceries? I mean, really, how hard can it be? But regardless of my naive attitude and lack of experience in retail, the Head immediately scheduled training the following day. The training felt like Pledge Week during my college days: I chanted tag lines, rules, safety procedures and had to repeat the mission of the grocer's philosophy over and over again in between shots of tequila. (And the very reason I never joined a sorority.)

But I did receive a 20% discount card, a new apron and t-shirt made of 100% organic hemp, and was proudly initiated into their eco-conscious clan.